Change of Heart
“How does it feel to be a graduate?” Mom asked.
“I don’t know. It feels like any other day…”
“Well, what are you going to do now?”
“Um…” he trailed off. Arnold never really thought about that question; it seemed as though that question would be answered for him.
“Well, you could-”
“I don’t want to hear another one of your rants.” Silence filled the car and Arnold began to contemplate the very existence of his future.
Silence remained in the car for the rest of the ride home. Arnold tried to piece together his next move and the tools he will need to get there. At first, acquiring a job sounded like an easy one to answer; but when he thought about the skill he would need for the job his mind went blank again. Arnold figured that he should shoot lower that than a job and try to get into a college that will prepare him for the job; but, consequently, his grades weren’t too appetizing, his mind went blank again.
“What are you thinking about?” Mom asked.
“Nothing…” meanwhile, the family of two passed a couple of guys on walking down the street. One was tall and the other one seemed to be the same height as Arnold. Oddly enough, his step resembled Arnold’s. The guy had on clothes that seem to be too big for him, Arnold figured that the guy was hoping that he would grow so he bought over sized clothes. The clothes seemed to be so big that he had to widen his stride in order for his past to stay up, and occasionally the guy reached down near the crouch area to pull his pants back up. Lucky his shirt was oversized as well, so it covered his striped underwear that he had on. His shoes looked as though he had just bought them, they were red and white and the tongue was folded over the laces. The shoes could be made out as Nike's, but you could hardly tell because his pants was overlapping his ankles so much that only the tip could be seen. The man had on a thick chain that had a pedant that spelled out a name: A-R-N-O-L-D. Arnold’s eyes widened, he then squinted to see the man’s face; he had a small mustache and little peach fuzz above his lip, his mouth was wide and his nose was skinny. At a second glance Arnold saw his own face on this man he never knew, but somehow the man seemed to have a greater connection with Arnold than anyone else. The only difference between the two was that the man had decided what his future was going to be, and Arnold hasn’t yet. The man decided to create his own business, whose sole purpose was to supply the neighborhood with what it demanded. The head-quarters would be in this condemned building behind his house and the sales offices would be located on every street corner for a one mile radius. For a kid like Arnold the idea seemed easy, he didn’t need an education and he would be self-employed, and it satisfied the question: “What am I going to do now?”
The family pulled into the apartment complex, called the Town and Country Community. Over one bump, and on to the next, left at the lamp post and they were home. Arnold found himself out of the car before the car even pulled in to the parking spot. Arnold ran upstairs to his room where he threw his bag on the ground and fell on his bed. Arnold felt at ease for he knew what he was going to do with his life. His eyes became heavy and before they could shut, the clock read 4:19.
“Wake up and clean this room!” Arnold’s mom yelped from the doorway, trying not to inhale the body funk that has acuminalated over the last month.
Arnold rolled over as to get up, trying to fool his mother that he was actually going to get up and clean his room. After the ghost was clear, he laid his back into the same imprint he had left only seconds ago. He opened one eye to find out the time, the clock read 8:29. Arnold kicked the door shut and tried to get another half hour of sleep before he would get up and clean his room. Arnold’s mind began to drift, but there was a presence in the room, as if though someone was watching him and nodding in disgust. Arnold opened his eyes wide to reassure himself that no one was in the room, but the light was too much for him.
In the time it took Arnold’s eyes to adjust, a figured appeared next his desk in the far corner of his room. The figure was taller than Arnold, and had long, relaxed hair that looked good no matter what time of day. The figure had the physique of an avid basketball player.
Arnold rolled over, saw the figure, rolled back over and sighed. Arnold recognized the figure, it’s name was Dolran. When Arnold was younger he created this figure after his father had passed away. Arnold’s Mom told him that his father died because his father spent most of his time in the condemned building and one day there was a fire started by a handmade cigarette that fell on the carpet. His dad wasn’t able to get out in time. Dolran was a role model that was to stand in the place of his father. Arnold wanted to be exactly like Dolran: he wanted to play baseball, and he wanted to have long hair that required minimumal maintenance, he wanted to be well off and live a lifestyle that would allow him to do whatever he wanted to do.
“Your mother said to get up,” Dolran said. “It stinks in here…Doesn’t the smell bother you at all?”
“Eh, I’ll clean it tomorrow,” Arnold said.
“What you said Wednesday, and Thursday, and yesterday, and now today? What’s wrong with you lately? You seem discouraged and dishearted.”
“You wouldn’t understand…”
“Really?” Dolran walked over to Arnold’s bed and pulled his bed from the wall to prevent Arnold from hiding in the corner. “I am you and you are me. That excuse will not work.”
“Ok, by that reasoning you should know why I feel the way I feel.”
“Fine…” Silence fell on the room and Dolran seemed to vanish.
At the same moment, Arnold’s mom walked in and yelped another rant. Arnold opened one eye again and looked at the clock, it read 8:31 pm. Arnold’s mom walked in holding her breath and pulled the covers off Arnold. She then barked for him to get and move with what breath the she had left. After seconds of no movement she snatched the pillow from under Arnold’s head and hit him in the head with it and walked out gasping for air.
Arnold began to doze again and the same presence re-appeared in the room. Dolran walked back over to the desk and sat in the chair; he grabbed the baseball from off the key board and practiced his baseball grips.
After sometime Arnold moaned, “Aren’t you going to urge me to get up again, or give me another life lesson?”
“No,” Dolran said.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You’ll talk when you want to…” Dolran walked over to the closet and grabbed Arnold’s baseball mitt and started to re-lace the aging glove.
“It’s just that I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Go on”
“Earlier today my mom asked me, ‘What are you going to do now?’ and I didn’t know the answer. I told myself I could get a job, but I couldn’t think of any skill or qualification I have. So I said I would just enroll at the university next fall, but then my mind went to my grades, and we both know I don’t have the best of grades, so I won’t get in”
“Is that all that bothers you?”
“No… down the street we passed two guys who looked like they had money and didn’t really worry about their future. They didn’t look like the kind of friends you would have your mom meet, but they looked like they were self-employed. They had fresh kicks. I was thinking about opening my own business, back in that condemned building my father use to spend his time in. It would be like inheriting the family business!”
There was silence in the room. Dolran finished lacing the glove and Arnold started to clean his room. Nothing was said, but a lot could be understood.
“Ok…don’t you think your neighbors have invested way too much into you to start your ‘own business?’”
“Really? Like who?”
“For one, Novet from the Center across the parking lot. Hasn’t he helped you bring your grades up from what they used to be? He came every Tuesday and Monday to tutor you and help you with your homework, hasn’t he?”
“Well, I guess so…,” Arnold turned around and picked up the hobby set that Novet gave to him. “What about this, see…, look, the work that has been done on this was all Novet’s work. Once he gave me the car set I didn’t know what to do with it when I got home.”
“But that just a hobby set, hobbies skills are meant for leisure, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have professional skills.:
“Really? Name one”
“I’ll do something even better, I make you remember one”
Arnold gave a shrug of disgust and returned to his bed. He wasn’t satisfied with the spot he had chosen so he moved over to the side that didn’t face Dolran. “That’s the problem with people, they think they know it all and they think that by telling me things I would be confident in myself; but that’s where they’re wrong… they don’t know me and they can’t be me so they don’t understand me!”
“Remember during thanks giving break when Miss Veverely had Novet help with your science homework, because you weren’t confident in that subject.”
“Yea, what does that have to do with anything?”
“And Novet taught you different ways-shortcuts, tricks, and study habits that helped you jump start your confidence.”
“Yea...”
“And what did you do when you went back to school after the break?”
“I don’t know what I did really, but grades have been improving and that I understand all my subjects a lot better.”
“See, Novet only taught you about stuff that relates to science, he didn’t teach you anything about reading, spelling or writing. You took what you learned from Novet and built on them so now the same habits can be used for all your subjects.”
Arnold shifted his head with a look of enlightenment on his face. “Ok… I see what you’re getting at.” Arnold then turned around on the bed to face Dolran, “I take the learning habits I know and take them to college to learn the skills.”
“Uhuh”
“And once I learn the skills”
“Ya…”
“I would be confident in starting the business I wanted in that condemned building in the back of the alley.”
“Yes!!! Wait... I mean not quite, you almost got it. But can you clarify the what, exactly, your business would do per say.”
“Well my dad used to have all these gadgets and gizmos that somehow make little clear rocks and baby powder.”
“Trust me, those aren’t what you think they are, and anyways why don’t you become an engineer like Novet? “
“Nah, too much math”
“Any major you choose you’ll still have to learn math or a variation thereof; but why not an engineer, Novet is always telling you that engineering needs minorities.”
“But what kind of engineer should I become?”
“Remember way back when Novet took you on a tour of the UCSD campus”
“Ya”
“What building seemed the coolest out of all of them.”
“OH!!! The one that made that plane that had like 8 propellers.”
“Ok become a mechanical researcher”
“No I don’t want to do that, you said researcher that means I’ll be looking at computer screen for the rest of my life.”
“Not necessarily… being a researcher also means that you get to test cool new stuff, like that octo-copter.”
“Yea, but I don’t know how to build any of that.”
“Well you go to school to learn the…”
“Skills… and once I learn the skills will have the confidence to build anything I want!”
Arnold arose for the bed in the corner of his room. Dolran was gone and the room was still and a mess. He looked around to see what he should pick up first. Arnold looked to his closet and saw the hobby set Novet had given him. He grinned and went to put the hobby set on his desk, so that he would remember to get started on it in the morning. Arnold filled with joy turned around and finished cleaning his room. He put the socks in the hamper, the shirts in the closet, and the shoes on the shelf and put the candy wrapper in the trash. For the first time, Arnold was actually happy to clean his room.
“Breakfast is on the table!” mom yelled from the kitchen door.
Arnold jumped out the chair at his desk and followed the smell of french toast and eggs. He sat at the seat where there were three pieces of french toast, a mountain of eggs and sea of syrup on a white porcelain plate.
“I see you’re finally starting that hobby set Novet gave you.” Mom said.
“Ya, it’s actually kind of fun” Arnold replied.
“Why the sudden change of heart?”
“I don’t know; just know that someone reminded me that I was set up for greatness.”
“Is that right? Did you know you were talking in your sleep again.”
“Really?”
“Ya, it was as if you were talking to a guy named Dolran.”
“Oh, then it was ok.”
“No that’s not ok people going to think you’re crazy talking to a guy named Dolran in your sleep, we are going to see a doctor too fix that.”
“No… I’m fine with it.”
